LOVELY
______

by

Craig Abernethy

Copyright 2009

Cast of Characters

Stanley:        An upscale man in his late 20’s to mid 30’s; wears a Hawaiian shirt,
       shorts, and sandals.

Moira:          Stanley's equally upscale wife and a woman in her late 20’s to mid 30’s;
       wears a knit shirt, shorts, and sandals.

SETTING:        A back-yard patio, or condo or  apartment terrace with two patio chairs
       (not  lounges) and a small table between them; a pitcher of iced tea and
       two glasses sit on the table.

AT RISE:        Moira sits Left reading a hardback best-seller and Stanley is Right reading
       the Sunday newspaper. After the lights come up full Moira reaches for her
       glass and takes a sip, then Stanley does the same and looks at her and she
       looks at him and they smile at each other and a bird is heard chirping.        

STANLEY
This… the best.

MOIRA
Lovely.

(They wink at each other and return to their readings. After a moment Moira reaches for her
glass and takes a small sip, then reaches into the glass for one small, square ice cube that  
she puts in her mouth and crunches. Stanley starts slightly rustling his paper a little)

MOIRA
Hmmm…?

STANLEY
Uh…?

MOIRA
Did you…?

STANLEY
No… I… uh, yes, but… not…. No.

MOIRA
Ah…!

(They sit quietly reading for a moment or two and Stanley reaches out from behind his paper
and takes his glass and has a sip then returns the glass to the table. Moira reaches for her
glass, has a sip, and takes out another ice cube. She returns her glass to the table, turns
a page, crunches the ice firmly, and continues reading. Stanley starts more abruptly this
time, attempting to cover his surprise by turning a page as if to locate the “continued”
part of the article and folds his paper into a more readable form)

MOIRA
(Through the crunching of her ice)
You… okay?

STANLEY
(To her)
Me? Yeah.

MOIRA
(Still crunching and back to her reading)
Good.

STANLEY
(Reading)
Yeah… just…

MOIRA
“Just…?”

STANLEY
It’s… the economy… wow, it’s… yeah.

MOIRA
Yes, isn’t it?

STANLEY
“Yes…” yeah…

(They read silently for a moment and a bird chirps)

MOIRA
Isn’t that sweet?

STANLEY
Really… nice…

(They return to reading and he has a sip of tea and she has a sip of tea and he turns a page
and rearranges his paper and she takes another ice cube and begins crunching it and he rattles
his paper slightly and shifts a little in his seat. She looks at him inquiringly and he looks
at her smiling and grins reassuringly, and the bird chirps and they both face forward as the
light changes [dims then brightens and, possibly is colored orange- or red-ish(?)] and they
stand slowly placing their readings on their chairs. They first face Off Stage, then, as if
unaware of the other, circle behind each other’s chairs and behave as if the other person
was still sitting there)

MOIRA
Are you able to…(?)

STANLEY
This is a no…

MOIRA
Finish a sentence!?

STANLEY
A no crunch zone!

(The next two lines are said simultaneously)

MOIRA
Are you able to finish a sentence!?

STANLEY
This is a no crunch zone; a no crunch zone!

(Individually)

MOIRA
“Uh, um, wow, yeah, boy, uh wow, boy, um, yeah!”

STANLEY
No surprise dental stealth attacks allowed!

(The next two lines are said simultaneously)

MOIRA
I know you can think. I know you can talk. I’ve seen you. I have!

STANLEY
I’m sitting, reading, and it’s quiet, and “kee-runch, crunch, crunch, crunch!

(End of sample)

Complete scripts can  be obtained by e-mailing
Craig here