DO / DON’T DO
_____________


by

Craig Abernethy

Copyright 2009


Cast of Characters

Young Man:      A fit man in his mid 20’s to early 30’s with a couple of days’ fashionable
     stubble: wears a business suit (no tie) and carries a briefcase.

Young Woman:    A college student: wears jeans, and layered tops, and carries a messenger
     bag.

Older Woman:    An elderly, economically challenged, and skittish woman: wears a dress, coat
     and walking shoes, and carries a purse.

Voice:          The offstage voice of “Traffic Control Guy.”


SETTING:        A traffic intersection with street corners Center Right and Center Left.

AT RISE:        The traffic noise of a busy intersection is heard and, after a moment, Older
     Woman followed by Young Man Enter from Left and Young Woman Enters from
     Right. Traffic noise volume drops some and is heard throughout.

(When Older Woman, Young Man, and Young Woman are about half-way to Center)

     VOICE
Don’t “Walk.”

(Startled the pedestrians stop and look to one another for confirmation of what
they  think they each heard, take a breath, and somewhat resigned, wait. After a
moment the Young Man starts to step off the “curb” and…)

     VOICE (Cont)
Don’t play with me.

(Young Man stops and Young Woman takes a step backward)

     OLD WOMAN
What is this?


     VOICE
(Cheerfully)
Dialogue, at last!

     OLD WOMAN
Hey!

     VOICE
Frankly, I get lonely.

     YOUNG MAN
What the fuh…?

     VOICE
No swearing! Please.

     YOUNG MAN
Who…?

     VOICE
Traffic Control Guy says: “this is a ‘No Potty-Talk Crossing.’”

(Young Woman takes out her cell phone and begins dialing)

     VOICE (Cont)
And no phoning!

(Young Woman is startled and deliberately drops phone into her bag)

     VOICE (Cont)
It’s rude.
(To Old Woman)
Been shopping, ma’am?

     OLD WOMAN
Me?

(Young Man looks around and begins to step into the street)

     VOICE
Stop! I’m here to keep you safe.

     YOUNG MAN
(Evenly)
I want to cross the street.

     VOICE
I can relate. I’m stuck here… you’re out there: sunshine, fresh air,… if I were…

     YOUNG MAN
I have appointments!

     YOUNG WOMAN
I’m late for class!

     OLD WOMAN
I have a coupon for my Sea Bond!

     VOICE
Me, me, me! “Gotta go here!” “Gotta go there…”

     OLD WOMAN
It’s on special!

     VOICE
Oh, okay: “Walk!” “Don’t Walk!” Just messing with you.

     YOUNG MAN
What is this?

(He starts to cross the street and the Old Woman grabs and stops him)

     OLD WOMAN
Don’t!

     YOUNG MAN
What?

     OLD WOMAN
(Husky whisper)
It’s Cheney!

     VOICE
No. No. No! I’m Jack(!)… your friendly, neighborhood, remote Traffic Control Guy: “Jack.”

     YOUNG WOMAN
“Jack?”

     VOICE
(Happily)
Yes!

     YOUNG WOMAN
Jack… I have a mid-term.

     VOICE
Lucky you! What’s your name?

     YOUNG WOMAN
Uh,… Claudia.

     YOUNG MAN
Hey! I gotta get a move on!

     VOICE
Wouldn’t we all like that?

     YOUNG MAN
Change the light!

     VOICE
Oh-ho!

     YOUNG MAN
Do it!

     VOICE
Let’s play a game!

     YOUNG MAN
What the…?

     VOICE
Don’t!!

     YOUNG WOMAN
“Jack?”

     VOICE
(Happily)
Welcome to the corner of Flash Drive and Scary Place! I’m your host, Traffic Control Guy
Jack, and it’s time to play: “Traffic Control Guy Says!”

(Game show music is heard over the traffic sounds and the pedestrians are stunned,
confused, and at least a little frightened)


(End of Sample)

Complete scripts can be obtained by e-mailing
Craig here